Stepping Away From Social Media Can Boost Your Parenting Confidence

Like many parents, I can clearly recall the nights filled with feedings at all hours. A fragile newborn seeking nourishment and affection in the stillness of the night brought feelings of both wonder and solitude. Yet, was I truly alone with a social media feed brimming with experts and influencers for company?

Indeed, my experiences during those nighttime sessions transformed into what I now recognize as doom scrolling. In those early days, I saw it merely as an opportunity to absorb parenting advice from a multitude of experts and influencers flooding my feed. Though the hour was quiet, there was an abundance of information creating quite a lot of noise.

Once my first child arrived, I enthusiastically filled my Instagram feed with any parenting account I could find, unconsidered in my choices. From sleep consultants to play specialists, feeding gurus to other mothers I looked up to, I found myself inundated with a constant stream of advice on how to ensure the best for my baby. This continued as my firstborn transitioned into toddlerhood and a new baby joined our family.

However, I failed to recognize the mental burden this was imposing. Thankfully, at some point, I acknowledged that my social media feed was cluttered with information that either held no significance for me or didn’t fit my current parental stage. Consequently, I made a conscious effort to carefully curate my feed by unfollowing certain accounts. Not only did stepping back from social media enhance my mental well-being, but it also bolstered my confidence as a parent—here’s how.

Heightened mindfulness and diminished distractions

One of the most significant changes I experienced after distancing myself from social media was an increase in mindfulness and a reduction in distractions. Now, when my three-year-old becomes upset because her stuffed animal has blinked at her oddly, I can engage with the moment rather than rifling through my mind for the ideal response to deliver. What I’ve discovered is that most challenges aren’t resolved through scripted words crafted by someone else; often, they just need a big hug, a snack, or sometimes both.

Relying more on tangible support systems

While social media may give us the illusion of deep connections, the same cannot always be said for real-life interactions. In fact, the U.S. Surgeon General has recently alerted the public about a growing epidemic of loneliness and isolation in the nation. Once I started reducing my reliance on social media for parenting advice, I cultivated more authentic and meaningful relationships within my personal support system.

Engaging in real conversations about parenting dilemmas proved far more fulfilling than one-sided interactions with a screen, often leaving me feeling more assured in my conclusions. Another advantage? The people I conversed with understood my child well and could provide insights tailored specifically to her personality rather than generalized tips from social media.

Strengthened connection and authenticity with my children

One of my favorite parenting experts (a shout out to Dr. Becky!) frequently reminds us that we don’t have to be flawless as parents—we need to know how to mend. It’s natural to say the wrong thing or to react strongly at times, but acknowledging our mistakes and offering an apology when necessary teaches our children valuable lessons.

I appreciate this perspective on authenticity: our children don’t require us to be perfect beings consistently saying all the right things. Instead, they need to see their parents navigate emotions and stress authentically. I prefer for my children to witness me experiencing frustration, anger, or sadness and watch as I cope with those feelings, rather than believing I’m without flaw. This, to me, fortifies our bond.

Reduced time spent on comparisons

The adage “comparison is the thief of joy” endures for a reason—it’s profoundly true. Social media tends to magnify this reality, making it all too easy to measure our children against others or ourselves against fellow parents. A break from social media and a decrease in my online presence resulted in less time caught in the comparison trap. Keep in mind, social media represents only a highlight reel—a carefully orchestrated glimpse into someone else’s life or expertise.

I also spent substantially less time scrutinizing the credentials of various voices. Were they self-styled parenting gurus, or did they possess legitimate qualifications to support their claims? This distinction matters significantly.

Parenting grounded in personal values

For me, one of the most perilous aspects of social media is the belief that everything is pertinent to my own experience. Surprisingly, it is not. The platform is overflowing with diverse perspectives and expert views, and honestly, most of it does not resonate with me or align with my values as a parent. And that’s perfectly acceptable. We can maintain kindness and mutual respect. However, carving out time away from social media helped me clarify what truly matters as a parent: fostering kindness, curiosity, and a love for learning in my children. I aim to teach them about the world, how to nurture their bodies and minds, and to pursue their passions. Anything that detracts from that focus can, with confidence, be set aside.