Discover How A Strong Community Ties Us To Home Forever

The day everything changed for me was when I unexpectedly went into labor early. Knowing my neighbor was there for support made all the difference—she offered to change our sheets and tidy up our space while we were preoccupied with the arrival of our new family member. Fast forward to when we potty trained my oldest daughter: three neighbors took turns watching our newborn. It feels like a dream to have a community so supportive that whenever someone new moves in, fellow residents bring snacks, welcome baskets, or even host dinners or drinks just to break the ice. We even closed off our street for an annual Halloween bash and held a silent disco party to ring in the New Year last year. Most weekends, my family shares dinner with a neighbor—a tradition we hold dear. Honestly, I often joke that while we scored a fantastic mortgage rate in 2022, it’s the bonds we’ve created with our neighbors that truly make this house feel like home.

This sense of community was something I never anticipated discovering. Reflecting on my life in my 20s and 30s, I can scarcely remember exchanging more than polite nods with the residents nearest me. Now that I’ve embraced this profound sense of belonging within my neighborhood, I realize how beneficial it has been for my mental health and overall happiness. It’s hard not to feel a twinge of sadness when I think about how I missed out on opportunities for connection during the years when I didn’t put in any effort to get to know my neighbors. Nevertheless, I feel better equipped now to build a community wherever I may go in the future.

We often hear phrases like “it takes a village” tossed around, and there’s a good reason for that. A support system—that reliable network you can call on for help, whether it’s emotional or practical—is crucial when raising kids and navigating life’s ups and downs. Knowing you have people to share joyful milestones with, or even lean on during tough times, fundamentally nurtures your well-being.

Dr. Vivek H. Murthy, former Surgeon General, has highlighted the urgent issue of loneliness plaguing our society. In a recent advisory, he warned that lacking social connections can significantly heighten risks of depression, anxiety, cardiovascular issues, and even stroke. He pointed out that community involvement has been declining since the 1970s, noting that in 2018, only 16% of Americans felt closely connected to their communities.

“Social connection is a fundamental human need, as essential to survival as food, water, and shelter,” he asserts. “Historically, being able to rely on one another has been critical to our survival.”

Yet, forming those connections as adults can feel daunting. Many grown-ups like me yearn for their own ‘village’—a group that feels like family—but the challenge to create one can sometimes leave us feeling stuck. For many of us, it’s about stepping outside our comfort zone, which is undeniably intimidating.

I grew up in a welcoming cul-de-sac packed with families. My childhood revolved around spontaneous visits from one house to the next after school, filled with laughter and wild summer games like kick-the-can. Back then, adult friendships seemed just as simple; my parents still keep in touch with those neighbors, 30 years later. When I transitioned into college life and adulthood, I quickly learned that not all neighborhoods exude that same spirit. I couldn’t tell you a single name of these neighbors; I barely nodded at anyone, as I busied myself navigating work, school, and life’s many responsibilities.

It’s not that I didn’t want those connections. Cultivating a sense of community often requires vulnerability, and let’s face it, that can be a little scary. The thought of introducing yourself to someone living mere steps away can induce anxiety—what if they’re not interested in building a friendship? This fear of awkwardness can freeze us in our tracks.

However, what I’ve discovered in our current neighborhood is that there’s a mutual desire for connection. Some of us don’t need to be best friends; we simply want reassurance that there are people we can rely on—a neighbor we can ask to borrow a cup of sugar or who can check in on our pets while we take a much-needed vacation.

If you find yourself wanting to strengthen your neighborhood ties or even start fresh in a new place, here are some simple steps to help you forge those connections:

• Introduce Yourself: When my family first moved in, we took the initiative to make a batch of chocolate-covered pecans and delivered them, along with a small note introducing ourselves, to every house on our street. Some neighbors were home, so we got to chat briefly, while others came home to find a surprise treat. It sparked conversations and helped build a list of text numbers among our neighbors. If you’re already settled in, consider using a holiday to drop off some treats and your contact information—it’s a great way to break the ice and foster relationships.
• Create a Communication Hub: Many neighborhoods utilize email lists to share updates or recommendations. If your neighborhood lacks one, consider starting your own. This can be a fine way to stay connected, even when meeting face-to-face is hard to coordinate. Our community leans on a large text chat that includes safety alerts and casual Friday night drinks, making it easier for everyone to join in.
• Organize Gatherings: People often crave connection but might hesitate to take the initial step. By hosting a casual drop-in get-together or suggesting watching a game at a local bar, you can create the opportunity for everyone—kids and adults alike—to engage in a relaxed setting. It brings down the tension of feeling like you need to fill the air with conversation since the event itself provides a common thread to discuss.

Being part of a supportive neighborhood community is a gift I cherish. I love knowing that I can talk to fellow parents about the struggles and joys of raising kids, all while having a reliable support network right outside my door.

Building these connections and transforming neighbors into friends takes time and effort. If you’re feeling anxious about taking that first step, try to focus on the possibilities ahead—friends, laughter, shared experiences. The rewards of embracing this camaraderie far outweigh the hesitations. Trust me; it’s absolutely worth it.