Discover How Parents Can Reclaim Family Fun Time Without Guilt

There’s a common story that seems to weave through the lives of many new parents, a tale where weekends transform from spontaneous adventures into a rigorous schedule filled with kids’ activities. You might scroll through social media, only to see posts filled with the relentless cycle of park trips, museum outings, dance recitals, and birthday bashes, leaving little room for your personal enjoyment. In fact, I’ve stumbled upon numerous discussions online where parents express their growing dread for the weekends, worried that their own wants and needs are tossed aside in favor of their children’s whims.

But, why does it have to be this way? It doesn’t have to! What many risk forgetting is that the narrative of parenting in the U.S. often perpetuates this belief that once we welcome kids into our lives, our joy and leisure become secondary. It’s as if everyone has collectively agreed that parenting means forfeiting personal fulfillment in exchange for a series of child-centric escapades.

Just because we’ve signed up for parenthood doesn’t mean the fun is over. Many of us internalize the idea that we can no longer enjoy a night out or a quiet afternoon at a cafe. This is a prevailing message we see constantly: having children equates to letting go of hobbies, pastimes, and even simple pleasures like grabbing a meal at our favorite restaurant. Dr. Becky Kennedy sheds light on this misconception by emphasizing, in her conversations with Reshma Saujani on the podcast “My So-Called Midlife,” that “It’s your weekend, too.” This declaration could be the liberating affirmation many American parents desperately need to hear.

Even those who are voiceful about embracing motherhood, like Saujani herself, reflect on weekends spent solely in service of their children. Her candid acknowledgment strikes a chord with many parents, including myself. Yet, Dr. Becky brings an important point: when we live exclusively for our children’s entertainment, we inevitably invite exhaustion and even resentment into our lives. It’s not only about the parents’ well-being—it shapes how children perceive their world too. Intensive parenting, by its nature, risks raising children who may develop a sense of entitlement, believing that the universe revolves around their happiness.

No one expects weekends to mirror the pre-kid era, complete with hours spent lounging on the couch or spontaneous road trips. But surely, there’s room to carve out just a bit of joy amid the chaos of family life. Imagine taking your kids to a beloved brunch spot instead of opting for the usual fast-food drive-thru. How about hosting friends over while the children play together, allowing the adults to catch up over coffee? Picture cozy family movie nights where the film isn’t just made for the kids but is enjoyable for everyone involved—why not relive the nostalgia of *The Parent Trap* together? And yes, some weekends might just align perfectly for a much-needed date night or a solo break for self-care with the help of a babysitter.

It’s essential to remember that becoming a parent doesn’t mean we must forsake the joys we once cherished. The societal expectations that demonize mothers for prioritizing their own needs can be incredibly daunting. Take, for instance, economist Emily Oster, who recently faced backlash for admitting she skips kids’ birthday parties. Her view? It’s not that birthday celebrations are inherently flawed, but when they crowd the weekend, a personal sense of balance can easily get lost.

Ultimately, weekends can still be infused with a dose of personal enjoyment amid family responsibilities. Shifting the mindset to see that our time as parents doesn’t mean hitting a pause on our personal joy can lead to a healthier family dynamic. You deserve to cultivate spaces of joy and connection, not just for your kids but for yourself too. After all, a happier, more fulfilled parent creates a more enriching environment for their children to thrive in. So, let’s reclaim weekends together—because every parent deserves to enjoy their time as much as their kids do.Oster’s perspective on family time resonates deeply with many of today’s busy parents. As she candidly shares on the *We Met at Acme* podcast, weekend mornings are reserved for family activities like hiking—moments that she values more than attending social gatherings for her children. “We decided family time was important, and this other thing was less important,” she explains. It’s a commitment many parents can relate to.

Yet, there is a counter-narrative emerging from critics who argue that by skipping birthday parties and local events, Oster may not be fostering community among her children. And they have a valid point: attending such gatherings can help create a sense of belonging, not just for the kids but for the parents too. Still, it begs the question: should parents feel pressured to attend every party, or do they have the right to prioritize family bonding and rest?

In many cultures, including mine, we see children’s birthday parties as inclusive family affairs where parents are invited to mingle, enjoy, and share in their child’s special day. However, in the U.S., many kids’ parties have shifted toward a model where parents are often sidelined. The unspoken rule seems to be to drop your child off and return later. This sentiment sends a troubling message to parents: your enjoyment and social interactions don’t really matter in the grand scheme of family life.

Finding that precious weekend time for yourself feels like navigating a minefield. Many families face a barrage of choices—sports, classes, playdates—and between juggling these demands and maintaining your own identity, it can feel like something has to give. Oster’s rigidity might seem excessive, but it reflects a reality many families face: unrelenting schedules leave little room for personal time.

On top of that, parents are often met with societal barriers that make quality time away from their kids challenging. Family outings can bring joy, yet it’s hard to overlook the frustrations that come with finding childcare or the discomfort of public spaces that aren’t always child-friendly. For instance, sure, a dinner out can reignite the spark with your partner, but affording babysitters is often another hurdle for families to overcome.

I’ve been there too; the thought of a weekend getaway sounds refreshing, yet deep-seated beliefs make it tough to shake off that nagging guilt of leaving my partner with the kids for a few days. But here’s the truth: as parents, it’s essential to carve out time to recharge—whether that’s diving into a good book or simply booking that much-needed girls’ trip.

The pivotal takeaway from Dr. Becky’s insights serves as a gentle nudge: it’s okay to reflect on what you desire for your weekends. When was the last time you asked yourself, “What do *I* want to do this weekend?” That question might feel foreign, but it’s crucial for your well-being. Even if it steers you away from what your children envision for their day, pursuing your own enjoyment is valid.

So, take that step. It’s not only about savoring moments for yourself; it might just inspire your kids to appreciate the importance of balance. In the whirlwind of parenting, remembering to prioritize your happiness can lead to a richer, more vibrant family life. Because when parents thrive, the entire family does too.