Understanding The Benefits Of Keeping Space Between Two Babies

My husband and I are the proud parents of two beautiful girls—10 and 3. When I imagine my family growing up, a seven-year age gap between my children wasn’t what I envisioned. Growing up, I had a brother just two years younger than I am, and I always assumed my children would share a similar close spacing. However, life tends to have its own plans, doesn’t it?

Our first daughter was a delightful surprise, and it took time for me to feel mentally and physically prepared for the challenges of diving into the newborn phase again. By the time I felt ready to expand our family, I experienced a twinge of disappointment that my kids wouldn’t share the same closeness I had with my sibling.

But as I navigated through my second pregnancy, I discovered some unexpected advantages to having an older child during this time. Over the past few years, I’ve come to appreciate the 7-year age gap in several meaningful ways that I hadn’t anticipated.

A Much-Needed Breather During Pregnancy

The first trimester of my second pregnancy was nothing short of a roller coaster. Trying to eat was an adventure; just when I thought I’d found something that settled my stomach, I’d end up rushing to the bathroom. Coupled with overwhelming exhaustion that made me want to hibernate by 7 p.m., I felt like I was moving through molasses.

Looking back, I’m incredibly grateful that my daughter was old enough to be more independent during this rough patch. If I’d been trying to juggle caring for a toddler while battling nausea and fatigue, it would have been a whole different story. While my husband dutifully stepped up for the evening routine, I found some solace in retreating to bed early, and I didn’t feel an ounce of guilt about it.

Once our second daughter arrived, having an older child was a blessing once more. My eldest was self-sufficient enough to navigate some of her own needs while we adapted to life with a newborn, complete with the usual sleepless nights.

Time for Reflection on Early Parenthood

The seven years between pregnancies also gave me valuable breathing room to reflect. When I entered parenthood the first time, I was a rookie, unsure and overwhelmed. I made plenty of mistakes, but those years in between allowed me to think long and hard about my first experience. I could critically evaluate what I wanted to do differently the second time.

If I’d jumped right into another pregnancy, I wouldn’t have carved out that necessary time for introspection. Instead, I thought through things like how to manage scheduling, share parenting responsibilities, what feeding strategies to adopt, and so much more. By the time our second daughter arrived, I felt better prepared, even if I didn’t get it all right again. There were simply things I could do better, and it made the early newborn stage smoother and more enjoyable.

Financial Stability Matters

When our first daughter arrived, it came as a surprise that threw our budget into a tailspin. The financial reality of parenting hit hard, and it felt like we were playing catch-up for several years. Juggling full-time jobs and two little ones in daycare wasn’t a future we could easily afford. We decided to pause until our oldest was school-aged, making financial stability our priority.

With a seven-year gap, our situation has improved dramatically. My eldest was in kindergarten when her baby sister was born, so we avoided the double childcare strain during those first crucial months. When it was time for our second daughter to start daycare, we only had to cover one full-time tuition. Now, looking back, I’m incredibly relieved we didn’t buckle under the pressure to have a smaller age gap.

Creating Lasting Memories

One of the delightful surprises of my second pregnancy was seeing how my daughter could grasp the exciting role of being a big sister. Her joyful squeals upon hearing the news were priceless, along with her adorable attempts to prepare—like suggesting we swap our hardwood floors for carpet to keep the baby safe. She even took it upon herself to set aside her favorite toys for her little sister.

Watching her create memories with her baby sister, like their first Halloween and Christmas together, fills my heart with joy. It’s a special bond that will only grow stronger as they make memories together.

Bonding in Their Own Unique Way

Initially, I worried that the age gap would hinder my children from developing a close sibling bond. Would they ever truly play together? Would they share the same childhood experiences?

What I didn’t realize is that a 7-year age gap doesn’t create a barrier; it can foster unique relationships. My eldest was in school when the baby came, so her initial interest in the newborn phase wasn’t high. But now, that once-quiet infant is a lively and animated 3-year-old with her own quirks and personality.

Even though my girls like different things, they’ve reached an age where they can finally enjoy shared activities, like playing in the backyard. I often catch them giggling together on the swing set—a moment I envisioned for so long finally unfolding before my eyes.

A Great Helping Hand

When it comes to errands and outings, I’m no longer stressed about keeping an eye on two small children. My oldest has stepped up so well, acting like a little assistant who keeps an eye out for her younger sister. I appreciate how she helps keep the peace in tricky situations, holding hands in parking lots or waiting at the bottom of slides.

Having a nearly seven-year age gap between my kids turned out to be a journey I didn’t expect. The benefits have enriched our family dynamic in meaningful ways. If you’re navigating similar circumstances, I can assure you from experience that a wider age gap can be a wonderful surprise!