Essential Back-To-School Tips For Parents From Experts

Back-to-school purchasing is not a new concept, yet sharing your purchases on social media is a comparatively modern trend that is gaining popularity among children and adolescents. A search on TikTok for #backtoschool2024 reveals over 47,000 clips featuring tweens and teenagers showcasing their “hauls” for the upcoming academic year. These videos are equally well-received on YouTube, often adhering to a similar framework. Youngsters typically begin by unveiling the various bags from all the stores they’ve frequented before elaborating on the distinct items they’ve acquired. Many take a moment to express appreciation for their purchases prior to delving into the haul.

Additionally, an increasing number of kids and teens, regardless of their follower counts, are posting. In contrast to #backtoschool2023, which had 30,500 videos, there has been a 55 percent rise in the number of adolescents sharing their new accessories and outfits for this upcoming academic session.

What fuels this phenomenon? Are these hauls a genuine reflection of reality, and how do these videos impact other children? We consulted two professionals and a parent of five to gather insights on this trend, offering guidance on how to address conversations about hauls, excessive consumption, and social media with your children

What motivates kids to post back-to-school hauls?

Rachael M. Jones, a licensed marriage and family therapist and co-owner of Trailhead Therapy, explains that the urge to blend in with peers is a significant factor driving teenagers to create these videos.

“The desire to feel secure and safe propels many decisions and actions,” she states. “For a lot of children, it’s less about the attention and more about fitting in and experiencing a sense of belonging.”

Upon viewing several of these shopping hauls, you’ll notice that the brands and items cited from one video to another are surprisingly alike.

Casey Lewis, a journalist behind a well-regarded newsletter on Gen Z and Gen A trends named After School, mentions that brands such as PacSun, Brandy Melville, and Altar’d State prominently feature among adolescents this year in her latest newsletter.

Jones clarifies that it is no surprise these hauls depict similar items. “Being aware of what’s trendy and acceptable, and aligning with those trends, helps children feel confident and safeguarded as they approach the first day of school,” she asserts.

Beyond utilizing haul videos for affirmation and positive reinforcement for returning to school, Jones also emphasizes that many teens relied on social media during the COVID era to shape their identities and sustain relationships, and this reliance continues even as kids return to face-to-face schooling.

“Numerous kids had crucial aspects of their school experience altered or taken away due to COVID,” she comments. “They’re navigating what attending school, fitting in, and making an impression looks like.”

Back-to-school hauls may not be truly representative

The National Retail Federation (NRF) anticipates that families will spend an average of just shy of $875 on back-to-school acquisitions this year. This marks a $15 reduction per family from the previous year but remains the second-highest total since the survey began. That’s quite substantial, and Kendall Meade, a Certified Financial Planner associated with SoFi, remarks, “This might not be feasible for many families.”

In their videos, teens frequently flaunt 10 or more bags from high-end brands and emphasize the volume of items in their haul. This is unrealistic for the majority of kids. This can pose a dilemma for peers watching these hauls to confirm they possess the appropriate items to blend in at school, and it becomes problematic for parents who either cannot or choose not to afford the same things their kids see in the hauls.

Jasmine Bloemhof, a mother of five and an influential publicist residing in Rancho Palos Verdes, California—an affluent area of Los Angeles—notes that she has observed her children developing stronger preferences this year regarding which brands to shop from and even which malls to visit. Her teens “went wild” (within their preset budget) in popular stores highlighted in the hauls, such as Sephora, PacSun, and Tilly’s. She was particularly surprised when her 11-year-old insisted on allocating part of her back-to-school budget for a Stanley cup.

“Trends such as #backtoschoolhauls,” she believes, “are nurturing a perpetual cycle of pursuing ‘stuff’ that our kids can never escape, placing added pressure on parents to overspend to maintain appearances.”

She expresses a desire for her children to concentrate on acquiring items that resonate with them personally, yet the influence stemming from social media and haul videos creates challenges in achieving this, especially as teenagers increasingly compare their possessions with their counterparts online.

Jones concurs that for most children these…

haul videos lack authenticity, and excessive viewing of them can lead to adverse effects for adolescents. “We understand that extensive social media engagement is associated with a greater likelihood of anxiety, depression, diminished social skills, low self-esteem, negative body perception, and numerous other issues,” she states.

Intensive use of social media can hinder teenagers in forming their own identities and beliefs due to the overwhelming influx of viewpoints.

How to discuss hauls with your children and teenagers

What steps can you take as a guardian if your child is experiencing the repercussions of viewing videos related to back-to-school shopping hauls, or if you’re aiming to limit your teen’s social media engagement? Here are four suggestions from our specialists on how to approach the situation with your adolescent:

1. Acknowledge their emotions

Jones notes that one of the most crucial actions parents can undertake is to listen and connect with their teen’s feelings. The aim of the dialogue, she asserts, should not be to convince anyone to alter their behavior, but sharing emotions from both sides can genuinely assist.

“Many parents believe that enforcing rules means they cannot validate their child’s emotions, or that acknowledging feelings necessitates modifying the rules,” she explains, but emphasizes that this notion is incorrect. She suggests that parents recognize the feelings their teen may be experiencing while concurrently reaffirming that the guidelines regarding budget for shopping or social media participation will remain unchanged.

Jones also adds that if circumstances allow, permitting teens to purchase one fashionable item “can act as a reasonable compromise” instead of an entire haul.

2. Establish a budget and discuss it with your teen

Meade emphasizes the significance of being transparent with your children early about the type of budget allocated for back-to-school shopping. She states that it’s vital for parents to set practical expectations regarding what they can and wish to spend, and suggests that it may be beneficial for parents to present alternative options for teens aiming to increase their shopping funds. “Perhaps your adolescent can secure a part-time job mowing lawns, babysitting, or dog walking to earn money for desired items that are not necessities,” she advises.

Bloemhof mentions that she has her children assess their wardrobes each year to determine what they truly require and engages in a discussion regarding their budget before shopping. She believes this approach helps her children concentrate on a few essential items they desire before leaving home, which simplifies the shopping process.

3. Provide reassurance to your teen without relying on social media

Jones often suggests alternative methods for teens to gain the positive reinforcement they seek that do not involve social media. In her discussions with parents, Jones expresses, “We explore how to address the needs and values of children while respecting the needs and limitations of parents.”

Some of her suggestions include having teens share photos of their shopping with family members or using FaceTime with friends while shopping for encouragement.

She notes that having your adolescent plan their first-day outfit with peers can also be beneficial for providing reassurance, helping to cultivate a sense of belonging that teenagers desire.

4. Explore secondhand options for fashionable items

Both Meade and Jones advocate for encouraging teens to shop secondhand for popular brands. “Many teens are quite enthusiastic about brand names, which can be excessively expensive,” states Meade. “Purchasing them secondhand can lead to significant savings.” She recommends online platforms like Facebook Marketplace or Poshmark as excellent sources, in addition to visiting a local consignment store.

According to Jones, shopping secondhand can satisfy the urge to own trendy items, allowing a teen to feel included when a budget for new purchases is limited, and serves as an effective strategy for parents to suggest instead of a large shopping spree.

Concluding thoughts on back-to-school hauls

Returning to school can evoke an array of emotions including excitement, fear, insecurity, and stress. Sharing a #backtoschool2024 haul is a trend among teens seeking peer validation prior to the first day, but these hauls are unrealistic and may yield negative outcomes for adolescents.

Investigating methods like those mentioned above can provide teens with a valuable confidence boost without overspending or over-relying on social media.