Essential Tips And Tools That Helped Our Family To Grow Over ADHD

Throughout my childhood and adolescence, I was that daydreamer—the girl who filled the margins of every notebook with doodles while twirling her hair, lost in the world of imagination. I was also loud and restless; my chatter was endless, no matter how many times teachers relocated me around the classroom. My mom had her suspicions about my neurodivergence, but my dad would often brush them aside, saying, “Ah, she’s fine! I was the same way as a kid!” Reflecting on this now, I realize it was a classic case of one of the red flags — ADHD is, after all, largely genetic.

It wasn’t until I nearly flunked my sophomore year of college that I was finally diagnosed with ADHD. A therapist helped me see that the struggles I was facing weren’t new; they’d been part of my life for a long time. This hidden pattern is common among many neurodivergent women, whose symptoms often present differently from those of men, leading us to develop coping strategies and “mask” our true selves from a young age. As I raised my children, I was aware that I might pass this trait on—an instinct that turned out to be correct when my son was diagnosed just shy of his fifth birthday.

Diagnosing young children with ADHD is often more complex than it seems. Toddlers and preschoolers frequently exhibit numerous behaviors typically associated with this neurodevelopmental disorder, like an inability to sit still and the occasional temper tantrum. While these traits can be just a part of growing up, I sensed from the time my son was three that his brain operated differently—mirroring my own experiences. His symptoms ranged from extreme emotional outbursts to defiance and impulsive actions that sometimes escalated to aggression. We began play therapy before his fourth birthday, yet his struggles at home and school only grew more pronounced, ultimately leading us to his official ADHD diagnosis from a child psychiatrist.

Having navigated my own diagnosis as a child without guidance, I knew that supporting my son through his would be an entirely different journey—particularly because his symptoms didn’t mirror mine. I have the inattentive type of ADHD, while he has the combined type, which means strategies that may help me with my challenges might not resonate with him at all. We’re still figuring out how to manage this diagnosis as a family, from medication choices to lifestyle adjustments. What proves invaluable during this process has been connecting with other parents who are walking similar paths. They’ve shared insights and encouragement, reinforcing that while we’re still learning, we’re not alone.

So, in the spirit of sharing what’s helped us, here’s how we are approaching his ADHD diagnosis:

Child-centered Educational Tools

From my own journey and through conversations with others living with ADHD, it’s clear that many kids begin to sense their differences quite early on. They might not fully understand why they feel the way they do, but that feeling of being “other” is all too real. That’s why it’s crucial, beyond just educating myself through books and online resources, to share insights with him in a way that makes sense for his age. The better he understands how his brain works, the more equipped he’ll be to build healthy coping mechanisms.

During our diagnostic sessions, my son’s psychiatrist provided us with age-appropriate reading materials to help clarify what his diagnosis really means. I ordered several picture books that feature neurodivergent main characters, resonating with his everyday experiences. Since he’s already a book lover, it became a natural avenue for education. Reading together sparks so many questions, and I’m committed to taking the time to walk him through those queries, connecting the dots to his own life.

Here are a few picture books we adore that provide child-centered explanations of ADHD, helping him see his uniqueness as something to celebrate rather than hide:

1. Wish in a Tree” by Lynda Mullaly Hunt, illustrated by Nancy Carpenter

This touching story features Oliver, whose brain is always “bubbling” with ideas and questions, making it hard for him to focus in school. He worries about fitting in, but a friend reminds him that not fitting the mold is perfectly okay. The first time I read this book, I found myself tearing up because I recognized my son’s struggles within Oliver’s experience. It’s a poignant reminder that with the right support, a mind that works differently can be a wonderful gift.

2. “WEPA” by J de la Vega

In this captivating tale, Mia faces criticism from her mom for being “too messy” and from teachers for being “too loud.” However, her Abuela reassures her, explaining that she simply has too much *wepa*—a metaphor for her abundant energy, or what we might recognize as ADHD. This is the book I wish I could have read when I was young, and I can’t recommend it enough for any child grappling with feeling “too much.”

By sharing stories like these, we’re not only helping him to understand his ADHD but also fostering a sense of belonging and visibility. Each page we flip helps him recognize that he’s not alone and that his unique brain is something to cherish.

Creating Routines

Routines have become our lifeline. With ADHD, unpredictability can trigger anxiety and frustration for my son. We’ve implemented a morning and bedtime routine that he can follow independently. A simple visual chart helps him navigate through each step, whether it’s brushing his teeth or putting on shoes. It really took the edge off those frantic mornings and helped him feel more in control of his environment.

Fueling the Body

Nutritional choices play a huge role in how my son feels throughout the day. We’ve found that incorporating whole foods—fruits, veggies, proteins—helps him maintain a steady level of energy without those dreaded sugar crashes. Meal prep has become a weekly ritual for us, and it allows him to help choose what to prepare, giving him a sense of ownership over his diet.

These choices are invaluable—not only do they help reduce hyperactivity, but they also serve as an opportunity to bond while cooking together. Yes, it can get a little messy, but those moments of laughter and cooperation make it all worthwhile.

Encouraging Kindness

A crucial part of our journey has been learning how to cultivate empathy and kindness within our family. We focus on teaching my son to recognize his feelings and the feelings of others. Storybooks like “Benji’s Busy Brain” and “Different Thinkers: ADHD” provide relatable scenarios that prompt discussions about emotions, making it easier for him to recognize and understand feelings both in himself and others.

I’ve found that incorporating kindness activities—like drawing a picture for a friend or doing something nice for a family member—has sparked something amazing in him. It’s all about taking small steps to instill values that will help him interact positively with friends and family as he grows.

It may feel overwhelming at times, and you might question whether you’re doing enough. Trust me, you’re not alone in this. Every step, no matter how small, is a step forward. And remember, you are your child’s biggest advocate. Keep advocating for them, keep loving them, and keep seeking the resources you need. You’re doing amazing work!

Lifestyle and Routine Changes

Maintaining steady routines has always been crucial for my child and me, especially since we both cope with ADHD. But we’ve also embraced some additional changes that have made a huge difference. For example, we revamped our diet to include ADHD-friendly foods, cutting back on sugar to help with hyperactivity. We enrolled him in weekly physical activities to burn off energy and switched to low-stimulation TV shows during the school week. These changes not only improve his impulse control but also build on his confidence through positive reinforcement. It’s about making small shifts that contribute to his overall well-being.

Medication Management

When it comes to deciding whether or not to start medication for ADHD, it’s an incredibly personal journey for every family. In our case, we weighed the pros and cons carefully. We considered the severity of his symptoms and the way they were affecting his daily life, as well as potential side effects. As someone who has been on ADHD medication myself for over a decade, I’ve experienced firsthand its benefits—you can probably guess it’s been a positive influence. With guidance from our psychiatrist and therapist, I felt comfortable making that choice for my son. Since we started his medication and stuck to therapy, it’s like we unlocked a new level of happiness in his life. It’s a decision I truly believe has been beneficial for both him and our entire family.