Overcoming Work-From-Home Mom Guilt

As I sit here typing this, my fourth grader is home for spring break, and the weight of mom guilt begins to creep in. I work from home full-time, a blessing during these times, yet here I am, torn between the joy of having her nearby and the constant hum of work demanding my attention. Just last year, we enjoyed a lovely mother-daughter trip together, creating memories that I cherish. But this year feels different — we are simply navigating the challenges of daily life while she finds her own way to occupy her time.

For the past five years, I’ve adapted to this work-from-home lifestyle, ever since the upheaval of the COVID shutdowns. Before that, I spent a decade in the office, where the clear lines between my work life and home life were drawn. Now, I cherish the newfound flexibility of my remote project management job in edtech. I save hours without commuting or getting dressed for the office, which has turned out to be truly life-changing. However, that convenience doesn’t come without its own set of struggles, particularly during moments like this spring break, where the interplay between my responsibilities can lead to feelings of inadequacy.

Navigating the Juggle of Home and Work

One of the hardest parts of working from home is feeling perpetually divided. On days like this, where my daughter is home and looking for engagement, I often feel guilty that I can’t give her my undivided attention. My preschooler, who doesn’t quite understand why I’m around but still busy, waits patiently for me to finish work. My fourth grader gets it but still tries to pull me into her activities when I’m deep into a project. It’s a tug-of-war I face daily — where my attention is split between work calls and someone wanting snacks or assistance with a craft project.

I’ve noticed that when school breaks arrive, I often find myself overwhelmed, juggling pick-ups and drop-offs for camps alongside my work meetings. I can’t escape the feeling of being constantly behind. On top of my commitments to my job, I’m also managing family responsibilities, which can often lead to chaos when our schedules overlap.

The Comparison Trap

I can’t help but compare my situation to others. I see my friends in office-based roles visibly enjoying the clear divide between their work and home lives. They leave the office at the end of the day, fully disconnecting from work, while I often find myself answering emails or participating in meetings with children in the background. And then there are my stay-at-home mom friends — they are creating fun memories with their little ones at the park or on spontaneous adventures while I’m here, scrambling to bridge the distance between work and parenting.

These comparisons can be a real challenge, especially when I scroll through social media during spring break and see other families going on vacations or enjoying sunny outings. It reinforces that nagging feeling of inadequacy, making me question if my kids are missing out.

The Myth of the Perfect Home

After starting my work-from-home journey, I envisioned my house to be a model of cleanliness; the expectation was that I’d be able to manage both my work responsibilities and household chores seamlessly. Reality check: that’s not how it works. Just because I’m at home doesn’t mean I have time to scrub floors or organize toy bins while I’m deep into a work project.

If anything, my home often feels messier now. With my kids around more often, the piles of laundry and clutter seem to multiply. Mealtimes that used to be neatly contained are now more like a chaotic family picnic in the kitchen, where dishes pile up faster than I can handle.

Finding Balance in the Madness

Despite the challenges, I’ve learned a few tricks to maintain some semblance of balance. For unexpected days off, I keep stocked craft kits and activities that can buy me some precious uninterrupted time. A few well-placed arts and crafts go a long way when I need to direct my daughter’s attention while I attend a meeting.

I’ve also developed a quick 15-minute tidying routine that helps curb the mess. It’s not a marathon cleaning session, but it allows me to reset the home just enough to feel less chaotic. A quick unload of the dishwasher, taking out the trash, and starting a load of laundry makes a world of difference. Then, come the weekend, I go deeper into the cleaning before the week starts anew.

Embracing the Good with the Bad

Ultimately, working from home isn’t perfect, but the positives far outweigh the negatives. Every situation comes with its challenges, whether you’re at home, in an office, or somewhere in between. While I sometimes feel guilty about my divided attention, the flexibility and the time I reclaim in my life make the struggle worthwhile. I know that my hard work provides for our family, and rather than feel guilt over working, I focus on gratitude for the opportunities it creates. Parenting is tough, and balancing work and family life is an ongoing conversation. Whatever your journey looks like, remember that you’re not alone in feeling these mixed emotions.