Simple Tips To Sleep Coach A Young Child

At 4 in the morning, following the third nightly feed with my new little one, I glanced fondly at my cushion at the other end of the room while anticipating the luxurious two hours of slumber awaiting me. “You’re my missing piece, cushion,” I murmured.

As I drew nearer to my bed, I sensed movement right behind me. A wave of apprehension washed over me—our adorable toddler had escaped her bed once more! She had ventured into our room with such stealth that she could have qualified for a covert mission. She made requests: a sip of water, a hug, a plush toy. As I took her hand to guide her back to her room, I glanced back to see my beloved cushion fading into the distance.

Sleep Regression in Young Children is a Genuine Phenomenon

Soon after welcoming our second child, we began contemplating strategies for sleep coaching our young child. While we had prepared ourselves for restless nights with the newborn, we hadn’t anticipated that our 2-and-a-half-year-old daughter would experience a significant adjustment in her sleep patterns as well. She started having difficulties falling asleep independently and self-soothing after waking up at night.

Pediatrician Malini Kumar reassured us that this was normal. “After a new baby arrives, it’s very common for the older sibling to experience disruptions in sleep and changes in behavior,” she explained. “Maintaining a sense of routine and consistency, especially at the toddler stage, is crucial.”

We made an effort to uphold structure wherever possible. Despite our daughter’s growing affection for her “baby brother,” her confidence around bedtime continued to diminish. We were eager to restore her gift of good rest. After one particularly long night filled with wake-ups from the newborn and our toddler, my spouse and I exchanged weary glances and realized it was time for a plan. Although we were inexperienced in sleep coaching beyond infancy, we were willing to attempt any strategy. 

Professional Advice for Sleep Coaching Young Children

A friend recommended sleep consultant JoAnna Inks from Sleep Solutions Unlimited. “Toddlers possess a level of logical thinking,” she remarked in a subsequent phone call. “We leverage this logic to instill sleep techniques and alleviate fears on their level.”

Introducing: the reward and consequences method for sleep coaching. This approach involved initially staying in the room and gradually withdrawing over time. The strategy encompassed reasoning, sticker charts, instant rewards, and prompt consequences. For instance, small toys or special experiences acted as short-term incentives for the behaviors we agreed upon with our child. Fueled by hope and sheer exhaustion, we resolved to give the plan a chance. Keep reading for the fundamental principles of successful sleep coaching for young children by sleep consultant JoAnna Inks and how it impacted our family.

Why is the reward and consequences method suitable for young children?

Inks: The toddler stage presents an excellent opportunity for working with children as reasoning becomes feasible. With a clear, consistent, and age-appropriate plan in place, you can engage your child in discussions about sleep expectations.

If these expectations aren’t met, there must be repercussions; otherwise, there would be no incentive for undesirable behavior to cease. We employ a reward and consequence system tailored to your child’s disposition and the parent’s parenting style. Our aim is always to empower children with sleep techniques. Children at this age are eager learners, and sleep skills are no exception.

What role does sleep pressure play, and why is it significant?

Inks: The most beneficial sleep we can offer our children is consolidated nighttime sleep. Toddlers aged 2-and-a-half and above typically require approximately 12-13 hours of sleep within 24 hours. When a child isn’t sleeping well at night, they may attempt to compensate with excessive daytime sleep.

Restricting daytime sleep at this age to one and a half hours allows for 11 hours of consolidated nighttime sleep, fostering the build-up of adequate sleep pressure for an easier bedtime. This balance enables the child to accumulate sufficient sleep pressure for both a nap and a successful nighttime rest.

Consistency in nap timing is also crucial. Equal periods of wakefulness before and after napping facilitate the accumulation of adequate sleep pressure for both naptime and bedtime success.

Can you elaborate on the importance of self-soothing in sleep coaching for young children?

Inks: Eliminating external aids—such as rocking, bouncing, feeding, or having a parent lie down with the child—while teaching our children to self-soothe is a vital aspect of sleep training. As we progress through sleep cycles, we descend into deeper slumber until we resurface. If the sleep crutch that helped you doze off during those light stages is absent, transitioning to the next sleep cycle becomes challenging. This leads to disrupted sleep.

Our goal is to teach ouroffspring inner slumber abilities so that they can transition from point A, wide awake, to point B, in dreamland, entirely independently (similarly to how grown-ups do at bedtime). This will enable them to seamlessly align their sleep patterns and rest more tranquilly during the night.

Why is uniformity crucial for young child bedtime rituals?

Inks: Humans are highly protective of our sleep setting. We dislike unexpected events or alterations to our schedule. Hence, having a unchanging bedtime regimen and establishing a steady expectation regarding sleep is truly vital for your young child. 

What steps should I take if I encounter sleep training obstacles?

Inks: Keep in mind that this journey is not straightforward. It doesn’t progress consistently, and it’s not flawless every single day. Your little one is human, and they will experience rough days, nightmares, interruptions from vacations, and so forth. 

In case those slumber capabilities are present, the positive news is that it’s always simpler to get back on course. We can’t compel your child to slumber, but we can equip them with all the resources they require to evolve into exceptional sleepers. Slumber is an ability (similar to swimming!), and I strongly believe that every child or infant can grasp the art of being an excellent sleeper if they are simply educated in that aptitude. It’s a fantastic gift to bestow upon your child because this proficiency will be a lifelong asset.

When is the optimal moment to initiate sleep coaching?

Inks: I’m frequently presented with this query. My response is consistently this: If you’re prepared, then your child is prepared. I collaborate with infants and youngsters up to 10 years of age. I’m delighted to inform you that they have all evolved into exceptional sleepers. It’s never too late to instruct your child on how to slumber effectively. Sleep influences every aspect of our existence, and considering we dedicate a third of our lives to slumber, we might as well excel at it! 

Key points from our experiences with instructing toddlers on slumber techniques

Engaging with a slumber advisor held us accountable and on course throughout a journey that can occasionally veer off track due to life’s numerous diversions. Appointing a mentor within the family is also a viable choice if enlisting a slumber consultant is beyond your financial means.

Every child is unique. The efficacy of a strategy driven by rationality “relies on the child’s cognitive stage,” as stated by Dr. Kumar. In our scenario, the method of rewards and repercussions turned out to be the ideal match. The sticker charts and treasures gradually diminished after a few weeks, yet our daughter’s newfound slumber talents persevered! We also discovered that reinstating her routine after setbacks became much simpler. While our daughter found solace in her fresh consistent slumber schedule, our entire family became more at ease, and at last, I nestled into the comfort of my beloved, plush pillow.