Tips For Keeping Your Marriage Strong While He’s Always On The Golf Course

When I first met my husband, my knowledge of golf was as basic as it gets—just a vague understanding of how long a typical game might take and the sheer passion golf enthusiasts have for it. During our dating days, his weekend rounds felt like blissful time apart. He’d spend hours on the course, and I’d luxuriate in lazy mornings binge-watching Bravo shows or enjoying coffee with my girlfriends. It was a win-win situation—we both got to recharge in our own ways. But after we had kids, that dynamic shifted dramatically. Those long, carefree days on the golf course became what I now affectionately refer to as my “golf widow” phase, where I found myself juggling parenting duties alone for hours.

Yet, while I occasionally wish my husband’s passion was something that only took a couple of hours, I genuinely respect the joy golf brings him. It’s important for both partners in a relationship to engage in activities that fill their cups, after all. Transitioning into my 10th season with this “golf widow” title, I’ve gathered some strategies that help me navigate this unique situation, and I’m eager to share them in hopes that other mothers might find solace in the shared experience.

Learn the Basics About Golf

A friend shared some sage advice that’s made a significant difference in my relationship with golf. Comedian Heather McMahan once suggested learning the lingo of the sport so you can connect more with your partner. Turns out, this simple step really deepened my understanding of my husband’s passion. I can now ask him about his rounds and get what he means when he mentions “bogeys” or “sand saves.” It’s like we’ve created a little golf forum of our own.

As I’ve picked up terms and players’ names, I’ve found a real joy in engaging with my husband’s enthusiasm. I can cheer for players like Rory McIlroy and share in our girls’ excitement as they ask Dad how many “birdies” he aims to make during his round. It’s heartwarming to see them get involved, asking him to come home with wild numbers like 12—clearly more than any golfer could realistically manage, but it’s the thought that counts.

Book Tee Times Strategically

If there’s one thing I’ve learned about being a golf widow, it’s about tee times. My biggest pet peeve is when my husband plays during the day, particularly between 10 a.m. and noon. A 10 a.m. tee time means he’s often gone from 9 a.m. to 4 p.m., leaving me wrangling the kids solo. When possible, we’ve found compromise by aiming for early morning teetimes, allowing him to play and return home in time to contribute to parenting duties. Even a mid-afternoon tee time has become a solution, letting him spend quality time with the kids before heading out, although it has its complications when he returns home post-bedtime.

Communicate Clearly About Golf Plans

Establishing clear communication has been a game changer in our family dynamics. We’ve set ground rules to ensure golfing doesn’t interfere with our teamwork on the weekend. My husband knows not to spring a last-minute golf outing on me, especially when I’m expecting us to tackle family plans together.

He also provides updates during his round, letting me know the course conditions. If his game is going slower than expected, I appreciate a heads-up—it prevents those frustrating moments when I’m left waiting longer than anticipated without updates. Open lines of communication help us both feel connected, making it easier for me to manage our day without feeling overwhelmed.

Find Fun Activities for the Kids and Me

On days when my husband is on the course, I’ve discovered that planning entertaining activities with our girls helps me feel less like a lonely “golf widow.” We don’t need to elaborate on our plans; even a trip to the local playground, children’s museum, or pool can make for a fulfilling day.

Additionally, I’ve connected with other moms in a similar situation which makes a world of difference. Getting together with friends while our husbands hit the greens not only keeps us occupied but also creates a supportive bond among us—it’s therapeutic to share our experiences.

Get Your Own Break After Golf

I’ve heard stories from other women who feel let down when their husbands return from golf only to claim they’re “too tired” to help out. Yes, being out in the sun all day can be exhausting, especially when they choose to walk rather than using a golf cart. Early on, my husband and I discussed this, establishing that just because he enjoyed his time on the course, it didn’t mean he could opt-out of household responsibilities when he returned.

Being a “golf widow” means lighter days while he plays, but once he’s back, he’s equally involved in parenting. That balance is crucial—it fosters a sense of partnership rather than leaving one person feeling overwhelmed.

In navigating the rollercoaster of being a golf widow, I’ve found that embracing the game, understanding my husband’s passions, communicating openly, and finding joy in other activities are essential. After all, while he may be out swinging clubs, we’re shaping our own memories at home—one “birdie” at a time.Navigating the rhythms of family life can be a delicate dance, especially when trying to balance personal interests with parenting responsibilities. My husband’s passion for golf might sometimes make me feel like a member of the “abandoned golf wives” club, but we’ve found ways to transform what could be seen as a sacrifice into an arrangement that works for us both.

When Saturday rolls around and he heads out for a round, there’s an unspoken understanding in our home. This isn’t just his time; it’s a chance for me to reclaim a bit of my own. I never have to nudge him to switch back into parenting mode after his game. In fact, we have this unwritten agreement that the solo bedtime duty—my personal nemesis—is his to take on when he’s been out on the course. It’s a simple gesture, but it shows how we respect each other’s need for downtime.

And when he spends a Saturday afternoon on the green, we often talk through the next day as a team. If he’s out golfing, we look at how Sunday might shape up. Maybe I’ll get a chance to sleep in a bit, and he’ll keep the girls entertained until lunchtime. Or perhaps he’ll plan a fun day trip for them, giving me precious moments of solitude. This type of coordination does wonders for our family’s balance and helps us both recharge.

I’ve come to realize that being a “golf widow” doesn’t have to be a burden, as long as we maintain open lines of communication. Social media often casts this role in a negative light, reinforcing the stereotype that a spouse’s hobby is an avoidance of family duties. Yet, I genuinely want my husband to engage in activities that bring him happiness—just as I seek joy in my own interests.

It’s a two-way street, and that’s a crucial element. We support each other’s hobbies because we understand that happy parents make for a happy family. If all goes according to plan, someday I envision my girls joining him on the greens, while I bask in the glorious bliss of uninterrupted TV time and lazy mornings. Until that day, we’ll continue to adjust our routines to create a rhythm that feels good for all of us—one where we can both pursue our passions while being present for our kids.

As a mom of two active girls, I know firsthand that finding this balance can feel daunting. Whether your partner’s passion is golf, sports, or another hobby, it’s essential to cultivate a partnership based on mutual respect, understanding, and a bit of humor. After all, those moments apart can bring just as much fulfillment as the time we spend together. It’s all about teamwork and carving out personal space, thereby enriching our lives—and in return, the lives of our children—one golf swing at a time.