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Turning Mum Guilt Into Empowered Maternal Mastery

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Parenting

Turning Mum Guilt Into Empowered Maternal Mastery

Meeting Laura Guckian feels like reuniting with an old friend—she radiates vibrancy, confidence, and an unmistakable Irish charm. You might not suspect that this lively and engaging mother faced significant postpartum mental health challenges following the birth of her first child. Today, she stands as a formidable advocate, transforming her personal experiences into a mission to uplift other mothers across the nation and promote awareness of maternal mental health.

The onset of a new challenge

Laura was thriving at the peak of her marketing career when she discovered she was expecting her son. Full of joy, she approached a relatively uncomplicated pregnancy with enthusiasm, eager to welcome her newborn.

“Everything I heard about motherhood indicated that this would be the best time of your life. People promised it would be incredible, so I was really looking forward to it,” Laura Guckian recounts. “I believed this day would be the highlight of my life, but that wasn’t the case for me. When they handed my baby to me, I remember thinking, where is this overwhelming love? Where’s the joy? All I felt was sheer fear.”

Now a mother of three, Laura reflects on how her mental health had always been stable—until a few months postpartum. As she faced difficulties with breastfeeding and her baby’s silent reflux, her well-being began to deteriorate significantly. It didn’t take long for her mental health to take a serious downturn.

“I felt this enormous pressure because of the mantra ‘breast is best.’ I believe that saying is one of the most harmful phrases for maternal mental health. I couldn’t manage it, and it made me feel like a failure. Then, with his severe silent reflux causing him to cry constantly, I spiraled further into mental distress. Despite my own worsening condition, I neglected to seek help, partly because my baby was also unwell,” Laura recalled.

Reaching out for assistance

It wasn’t until six months after her child’s birth that Laura finally sought help. She remembers desperately signaling for support, yet feeling as though no one was truly hearing her cries. It took four more months before she bravely decided to admit herself to a psychiatric hospital, intent on securing the help she needed.

“That was the toughest realization,” Laura admits. “As a mother, acknowledging your mental health struggles requires immense vulnerability. To reach out for help and then be told to ‘get some fresh air’ or ‘indulge in a bubble bath’—seriously? I put all my energy into asking for help, and that’s the response I got. It all spiraled out of control from that point.”

“As a mum, admitting you’re struggling with your mental health takes so much vulnerability.”

“When my son was ten months old, I made the difficult choice to check into a psychiatric hospital. I stayed for two months and received the necessary support, but even then, I wasn’t completely okay. Initially, medical professionals suspected I had postnatal depression, but after thorough observation and care from a multidisciplinary team, they concluded, ‘This isn’t postnatal depression.’ They couldn’t precisely identify what I was experiencing and recommended I pursue ongoing therapy. Leaving the hospital, I felt like an even greater failure because I was struggling, but it wasn’t even something as straightforward as postnatal depression.”

A difficult diagnosis

“The most challenging aspect for me was this overwhelming guilt and the perception that I was the worst mother imaginable, especially when I couldn’t see any other mothers struggling. I was also constantly anxious about when things might improve.”

Laura’s story highlights the intricate nature of maternal mental health and the courage required to seek assistance, particularly when the answers are elusive. She was taken aback by the presence of many other mothers in the ward, all grappling with the immense pressures of parenthood.

“I left that day with the resolution that if I could ever understand why I found myself there and manage to reconstruct my life, I would ensure that no mother feels this way again. That’s precisely what I set out to do,” Laura asserts. “It took about three years to restore my life.”

Evolving from Mum Guilt to Mum Guru

Transitioning away from her marketing role, Laura embarked on a mission to provide mothers with meaningful support. She launched Mind Mummy Coaching, beginning open conversations about the difficult, stigmatized issues often left unaddressed in motherhood. To her delight, many mothers started to seek her out. “I thought I was the worst mother ever,” Laura reflects, “and from that realization, everything grew. Now, I assist women daily by normalizing those feelings and equipping them with essential coping strategies.”

After the launch of her organization, Laura has continued to support…Through her coaching program, Laura has assisted countless women, utilizing her social media presence and podcast to underscore the significant challenges of motherhood. During our conversation, she takes the time to listen to our concerns and offers invaluable advice on nurturing kindness towards ourselves—insight that we believe every mother would benefit from.

Navigating the Chilly Waters of Motherhood

“Picture motherhood as an ocean. Now, envision the water is frigid, and I’m floating in it without a life jacket or wetsuit—just trying to stay afloat, cold and worn out while managing all that comes with being a mother. Then, you see someone else equipped with a life jacket and wetsuit—they’re not as chilly or fatigued, making motherhood appear easier for them. Finally, there’s someone on a boat, cozy with a warm cup of coffee, exclaiming, ‘Treasure every moment! This is the best time of your life!’ Meanwhile, I’m thinking, ‘Are you kidding? I feel like I’m about to go under, and you’re telling me I’m failing as a mother?’ Seeing it this way allows us to recognize that each mother’s journey is unique due to the various resources and support available to them.”

Creating Your Own Support Network When None Exists

Despite her initial hesitations about expanding her family, by the time her second and third children arrived, Laura felt significantly more equipped. She realized the importance of adjusting her expectations and reducing the pressure on herself. However, in an era when many mothers navigate parenting without a support system, we asked Laura for her advice on what to do without a robust community around you.

“I often emphasize that when you lack a village, you need to create your own. Let’s be honest—there isn’t a busload of helpers arriving at your doorstep once you become a mom. So, I guide my clients to start by lowering their expectations. If you’re attempting to juggle ten different tasks, but that’s simply not feasible, let’s narrow the focus to four. And it’s perfectly fine to take shortcuts! A frozen pizza for dinner? Completely acceptable.”

“If you don’t have a village, no one is preparing gourmet organic dinners every night. Also, why is screen time portrayed as a villain? I’d prefer my kids to watch some cartoons rather than having to manage a frustrated, stressed mother. It’s all about easing the burdens you impose on yourself, finding opportunities to simplify where you can, and ensuring you’re taking care of your own well-being.”

Did We Just Become Best Friends?

Laura is a wealth of knowledge, and let’s face it—tuning into her refreshingly honest podcast, *Momfessions*, is like enjoying a chat over coffee (or perhaps a cheeky glass of wine) with a close friend who truly understands. She delves into the realities of motherhood, addressing topics from toddler tantrums to the fatigue of sleepless nights, all while eliciting laughter.

Additionally, she provides practical tools for navigating those challenging moments—because, let’s be real, everyone could benefit from a little extra support in managing the highs and lows of motherhood. If you’re in search of some genuine discussion and relatable humor, *Momfessions* is the podcast you didn’t realize you needed.

*Hannah Carroll is our Senior Digital Writer, crafting high-quality listicles, insightful how-to guides, and expert product reviews. As a mother of three, Hannah leverages her extensive knowledge of family life to offer genuine insights into products that simplify home management.*

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