5 Pro Tips To Help Your Toddler Remain In Bed

An abundance of literature, guidance, and methodologies exist concerning infants and slumber. However, what about the slumber of toddlers? I realized firsthand that it is actually quite common for toddlers to experience sleep disruptions around age 2. In our scenario, this age coincided with a challenging transition into the role of a big brother, making it feel like a double challenge.

My then 2-year-old, who had previously slept soundly and peacefully, began to resist staying in his bed at bedtime, waking up multiple times during the night, and experiencing more disrupted sleep than his newborn sister. This was uncharted territory for me. After consulting with specialists, I now understand that many other moms of toddlers encounter similar sleep hurdles. The silver lining? This phase will pass, but it may require time and consistent routines.

It is crucial to acknowledge that, similar to all aspects of parenting, there is no universally correct solution for sleep or any other issue. Each child has distinct characteristics and requirements. As mothers, we are the ones who understand our children the best, and ultimately, we must do what feels right for both them and us.

Actions for When Your Toddler Refuses to Stay in Bed

1. Allow Them to Learn to Unwind

“Consider this: very few individuals climb into bed and immediately doze off,” stated Rebecca Schlegel, a pediatric nurse and Sleepably Sleep Advisor. Typically, it takes most adults around 15-20 minutes to relax their minds and reach a state of calmness conducive to falling asleep.

“Various people read, engage in prayer, watch TV, meditate, and so forth,” Schlegel noted. “We cannot simply expect a child to get into bed and fall asleep. We must afford our children this time and space to learn to relax their bodies.”

Permit your little one to discover ways to unwind in their bed, such as reading books or playing with stuffed animals, and to nod off independently without your presence in the room (further details on that later). The serene “play” in their bed will deter your toddler from leaving the bed to search for you and will ensure that they drift off—and remain—there.

2. Refrain from Remaining in the Room Until They Drift Off

Adults wake up several times at night and return to sleep. Similarly, children awaken multiple times during the night. Parents can assist toddlers in feeling confident about falling asleep independently at the beginning of the night. Dr. Lynelle Schneeberg, a psychologist at Yale Medicine specializing in behavioral sleep therapy and the author of a book on sleep coaching, emphasized that this is one of the most significant measures parents can take to aid their children in returning to sleep during nighttime awakenings.

“The behavior you engage in at bedtime will be the one sought after in the middle of the night,” Schneeberg explained. “Your child may drift off easily while you are beside them, but it can be challenging if they wake frequently at night and continually need your support to fall back asleep.”

Naturally, there will be circumstances where the best course of action is for you to help your child fall asleep, particularly during challenging transitions, periods of illness, or other unique stressors. Trust your maternal instincts.

3. Offer Security Objects—and Express Creativity

For toddlers, this could mean a stuffed toy or a beloved blanket. I suspect that many of us are already implementing this. So, what should you do if your child possesses these comfort objects but continues to awaken and leave the bed to seek you because of fear?

At that point, Schlegel suggested that it might be time to introduce a touch of inventiveness at bedtime. As children in the toddler stage frequently express fear of monsters, Schlegel proposed the idea of introducing a “monster spray” bottle filled with lavender or another soothing scent that your child can spray in the room before bedtime to repel imaginary monsters.

Nightmares are another prevalent complaint among toddlers. Schlegel recommended hanging a dream catcher above the bed and explaining that it traps all the bad dreams. In the morning, shaking it together will dissipate the unpleasant dreams.

It is common for children to seek solace from their parents, as we are their primary guardians. As scent is a potent emotional trigger, Schlegel also suggested leaving a shirt that carries the scent of the parent with them at night to provide reassurance.

4. Approach Their Routine as a Game

If the concern is less about waking up in theIn the dead of night and further if your little one refuses to settle in bed, you might want to attempt what Schlegel refers to as the “smooching activity.” Following your usual bedtime routine, once they are tucked in bed, perch on the edge of their bed and inform them, “in a minute, I’ll plant a kiss on you.”

Perform this repeatedly in their room, then inform them that this time, you will step out and return in a minute for a kiss. Keep returning to offer the kiss (you may want to extend the time more than a minute each time), and eventually, they will drift off to sleep before your return, according to Schlegel.

Alternatively, in case your toddler is anything like mine, he is brimming with excuses at bedtime for things he “overlooked” to do after we’ve completed our bedtime routine, and I’m preparing to exit the room. From forgetting to bid the dog goodnight with a kiss to failing to bring his cherished car to bed, he invents a justification to elongate bedtime and get out of bed.

The whole excuse scenario is not uncommon, as relayed by Schneeberg. In reality, she has a suggestion she proposes to parents grappling with this; offer your child two “vouchers” that they can trade for one plea each. Let’s assume you are about to leave their room, and they mention, “I forgot to kiss Daddy goodnight.” They surrender a voucher, they head over to kiss Daddy, and then return to bed. As you step out of the room once more, they claim, “I forgot my green toy truck.” Repeat the same procedure. If they make an excuse for the third time, explain that their vouchers are exhausted, but they can quietly play in their bed until they are ready to sleep.

Embrace yourself and your little one with some leniency, and bear in mind that if these methods don’t bring immediate results, that’s entirely normal. We are indeed exploring new grounds and discovering what clicks as we journey. Keep up the good work.