Expert Tips For Supporting Unique Halloween Dreams For Your Kids

My nephew is about to celebrate his 5th birthday and has a fascination with outer space, constructing train tracks, and racing Hot Wheels cars. He enjoys being goofy, practicing slide tackles during soccer games, and finds immense joy in laughing at fart jokes. Additionally, he adores Frozen and recently informed my sister that he wants to dress as Elsa for Halloween.

My sister has always promoted the importance of self-expression, making a conscious effort to avoid categorizing activities or interests as strictly ‘boy’ or ‘girl’ things. Thanks to an affordable costume from Target, my nephew has been trying out his Elsa dress at home and delights in singing along to the film while wearing it.

While my sister loves seeing her son so jubilant and wants him to express himself freely, she worries that an adult or another child may mock him or say something unkind while he’s out trick-or-treating, and what effect that might have on his self-esteem. She’s also pondering how to prepare him for potential negativity without instilling any fear or concern in him and how to react if someone does say something hurtful. Thankfully, she is not navigating this alone.

I spoke with therapist Rachael Jones, a licensed family therapist and founder of Trailhead Therapy, to gain insights on why Elsa might be such an appealing choice for boys and how parents can handle the situation appropriately.

He’s not the only boy who wants to wear an Elsa costume

This is a question similar to one posed by a parent on Reddit, who sought advice on whether their young son should wear his Elsa costume in public. “He’s my child, and I don’t want him to wear a dress if it’s going to have negative consequences. But I also don’t want him to miss out on that and feel sad,” they wrote.

Another Reddit user, WittyWolf26, shared their conflicted feelings: “I want to encourage him to wear that dress, but we live in Texas, where a boy in a dress can be seen as political, which is totally ridiculous and frustrating!”

One more parent on Reddit wondered how to address the “constant questions” their son faced after donning his Elsa costume to school. “It makes me nervous sending him out alone because of potential judgment and stereotypes,” they shared. “I’ve noticed surprised reactions when I mention my son is going to be Elsa this Halloween. I worry about his feelings.”

In summary, a boy dressing up as Elsa is perfectly normal and often makes sense based on his surroundings.

Elsa is ubiquitous, especially in daycare and preschool

When it was released in late 2013, Frozen became the highest-grossing animated film, earning over a billion dollars worldwide. The sequel, Frozen II, surpassed its predecessor in 2019 and held the record until this summer when Inside Out 2 achieved $1.46 billion globally, narrowly edging out the $1.45 billion generated by Frozen II. Given these numbers, it’s likely that most children have viewed the films at least a few times (or, in my nephew’s case, around 50 times).

Children’s media exposure significantly influences their Halloween costume choices, according to Jones. My nephew mainly watches Disney and Pixar films and hasn’t seen superhero movies like Spider-Man or Superman, so it’s logical that he would choose a character he frequently encounters on screen.

“If he primarily consumes Disney films, it’s understandable that he would gravitate toward characters who are kind, impactful, and heroic,” Jones explains.

Jones emphasizes that Elsa’s prominence in daycare and preschool settings contributes to her status as a “very socially acceptable interest.” This factor can be crucial; if all the kids at school are discussing or dressing as a certain character, it can influence a child’s desire to mimic that character for Halloween because “at around age 5, they start to care about fitting in.”

In my nephew’s daycare class, there’s a noticeable Elsa craze. At least three classmates sport Elsa light-up shoes, and the movie frequently comes up in conversation, reinforcing his perception that Elsa is a cool character he should emulate for Halloween.

Different kids gravitate to different things

Whether your son favors Elsa or your daughter prefers Spider-Man, there’s often more to it than just what they observe, as Jones points out.

“All children exist somewhere along a spectrum of desiring action versus a more relational approach,” she explains. “It usually involves a mix of what they’ve been shown, what feels right to them, and what is praised.”

For my nephew, it appears he is simply more inclined to enjoy less aggressive narratives. “There may be something within those Disney tales that resonates with him, like themes of helping and heroism, as opposed to traditional action-oriented heroics, which is perfectly natural,” Jones remarks.

One Reddit user, Brightfirefly, shared that their son chose to be Bo Peep from Toy Story 4. “I was surprised and a bit hesitant, unsure of others’ reactions, but he said, ‘I want to be her because she’s brave and strong,’ and who can argue with that?”

Kids are resilient, but it’s still a good idea to prep for potential negative reactions

The positive news is that in most cases, it’s the parents who fret about potential negative reactions, rather than the kids themselves. Jones notes that this dynamic may shift as children mature and become more aware of societal norms; however, younger kids are usually just thrilled to wear their costumes.

A Reddit user, allnadream, recalled when her son wore an Elsa costume for Halloween. “I was incredibly anxious about how he’d be perceived and even spoke with his preschool teacher beforehand, asking her to be on the lookout for any bullying,” she recounted. “Her response was reassuring: ‘Oh, we already knew! He’s been telling everyone he’ll be Elsa, so no worries!’”

My nephew has also been vocal about his Halloween costume choice, prompting his best friend to dress up as Elsa too. Another boy at school mentioned to my sister that he thought it was cool that her son wanted to be Elsa.

According to Jones, parents can discuss various aspects of Halloween that might pose challenges for children, including what to do if they receive candy they don’t like and how to deal with individuals who might react negatively to the costumes of others. This approach shifts the focus away from just their child’s costume, while also preparing them for the reality that not everyone enjoys every costume.

She also suggests that if someone seems to be “too weird” about a costume, the family might consider changing their trick-or-treating route.

It’s entirely understandable why my nephew wants to be Elsa this Halloween. He’s going to make a fantastic Elsa, sporting the same white-blond hair and sparkly dress, and he knows all the lyrics to every song. As Elsa herself would say, it’s time to let it go and let him express himself—be it through laughter over fart jokes or twirling in his Elsa outfit.