Connect with us

Steps To Help Your Child Develop Confidence, Suggestions By Expert

Image Source: Nolte Lourens / Shutterstock


Steps To Help Your Child Develop Confidence, Suggestions By Expert

As guardians, few things are as crucial to us as witnessing our children prosper. We desire them to embrace every chance, overcome every challenge, and ignite what fulfills them. Much of this commences with recognizing their self-respect. It’s evident to us just how exceptional our kids are and how much they have to present to the world—we wish for them to believe it, too.

This is where self-esteem comes into effect. Parents and guardians can aid children in enhancing their self-esteem so that they foster confidence, conquer their apprehensions, and aim for the sky. We aspired to uncover the strategies for achieving precisely that.

Similar to numerous aspects of life, constructing self-esteem is a expertise that can be honed and actively nurtured with the guidance of influential adults in children’s lives. To gain more insights into this topic, we set out to find guidance from a specialist on how to support children in building self-esteem. We turned to Rachel Tomlinson, Licensed Psychologist and Author of the children’s publication, A Blue Kind of Day. With proficiency in parenting, mental well-being, and child growth and welfare, she had a plethora of understandings to impart. Proceed to find expert suggestions on how to assist children in building self-esteem—along with the significance it holds!

Rachel Tomlinson is both a Licensed Psychologist, owner of Toward Wellbeing, and author. With a focus on parenting, mental well-being, and child growth and welfare, Rachel provides workshops, 1:1 consultations, speaking events, and more.

Defining Self-Esteem and Its Relevance

First and foremost, we delved into what self-esteem entails from a psychological perspective and why it holds significance in our everyday experiences. According to Tomlinson, self-esteem can be perceived as how you perceive yourself, encompassing both your intrinsic and extrinsic attributes. She elaborated on how one’s self-perception not only influences the importance one assigns to oneself but also how one perceives others view them. Based on whether we view ourselves as deserving and valuable will affect our expectations and allowance of how others treat us.

Tomlinson also expressed, “Favorable self-esteem implies that you have a liking for yourself, believing that you (comprising your views, ideas, and emotions) are valuable and worthy of esteem.” Lacking a proper sense of self-esteem, it is evident how challenging it could be to stand up for oneself—even in detrimental circumstances—voice our viewpoints, and confront the confidence required to attain our aspirations. A firm sense of self-respect informs us that we hold valuable contributions to offer the world through our labor, objectives, and associations.

Characteristics of Positive Self-Respect

Recognizing what a constructive self-perception resembles can aid us in cultivating it within our children. As per Tomlinson, individuals with a positive self-respect do not inhibit themselves from articulating their opinions and viewpoints or conveying their needs. As they regard these aspects as significant, they allow themselves to communicate them to others. She also stressed that it transcends physical attributes like appearances. Instead, it encompasses our intrinsic self—our preferences, aversions, convictions, opinions, and so forth.

On the contrary, we pondered whether it is plausible for someone to possess excessive self-esteem. Tomlinson’s response was dual. She conveyed that self-esteem itself is a beneficial attribute. Nevertheless, it can alter an individual’s demeanor, sometimes in unfavorable manners. These unfavorable manifestations may materialize as excessive certainty or overrating one’s competencies or skills. On a more intimate level, it can influence relations. If an individual places themselves on a pedestal above those surrounding them, Tomlinson elucidated, they might neglect to recognize the needs, viewpoints, and feelings of others. An affirmative sense of self-respect not solely implies that we hold ourselves in esteem. It also implies that we can acknowledge those in our vicinity.

Ways to Support Children in Building Self-Esteem

The wisdom Tomlinson imparted regarding assisting children in developing self-esteem was quite ingenious. She explicated that given self-worth is contingent on self-perception, we must grant children the chance to excel. She continued to mention that this does not involve allowing them to emerge victorious in every board game during family game night. Rather, we can “Aid them in acquiring the skills to persist, troubleshoot, and equip them with emotional regulation techniques to navigate setbacks and hurdles.”

Identify Their Areas of Interest

An excellent initial step parents can take is to enable their children in discovering their interests. This signifies allowing them to explore diverse hobbies and sports they are intrigued by. When they find one or multiple pursuits they fancy, offer them reassurance and chances to practice. Upon witnessing their efforts pay off and their progress, remember to commend them for the diligence they have invested.

Discuss Dilemmas

As adults, we have understood that not everything unfolds as expected, and sometimes the dilemmas we encounter can be daunting. When a predicament emerges for our little ones, it is vital to converse about it with them to make it more manageable. For instance, perhaps they are endeavoring to refine their painting skills but are struggling with a particular technique. Rather than surrendering, we can guide them in plotting a course to surmount the challenge they confront. This may entail watching tutorials or commencing with simpler techniques that will refine their artistic aptitudes. This not only underscores our support for their pursuits but also dissects obstacles into more manageable portions.

Foster Practice of Novel Skills

In a similar vein, parents can provide children with the opportunity to discuss their interests and facilitate them in mastering new skills essential for success. If a child aspires to enhance their basketball abilities, parents can contribute to this endeavor by engaging in shooting hoops with them, viewing the sport together, and deliberating on enhancing their techniques.

Deliver Affirmative Feedback on Pessimistic Self-Dialogue

During the learning process, hurdles are inevitable. These hindrances might be accompanied by pessimistic self-dialogue. Upon detecting such instances, we can provide substantiation as to why such notions are unfounded. When we encounter phrases such as, “I never triumph at anything!” we can counteract by recalling a moment when they did indeed excel. Having tangible instances illustrating when they accomplishedAchieve recognition for our words of motivation and enhance their credibility.

Introducing the Influence of the Present Moment

When the pessimistic self-dialogue inevitably emerges, we can utilize this as a conversation starter. We can elaborate on the fact that it’s common not to excel at something right from the start. For instance, “You haven’t mastered riding your bike without training wheels, yet.”

Cultivate Positive Declarations

An effective method to boost self-assurance is through speaking kindly to oneself. A simple approach is to practice using affirmative statements every day. These affirmations typically start with “I am” and highlight positive qualities of oneself. For example, “I am a supportive friend,” and “I am adept at overcoming challenges.” Encouraging children to speak positively about themselves regularly can assist them in internalizing these beliefs. Positive affirmations are beneficial for parents as well, and children can glean valuable lessons from observing their parents exhibit self-compassion.

Provide Them with Chances for Accomplishments

As we comprehend now, a crucial element of self-respect development is attainment. At times, parents may unintentionally hinder the potential for achievements by being excessively protective. While this behavior stems from a place of love and initially appears well-intentioned, when we constantly step in to solve problems for our kids and restrict their safe exploration, we might unknowingly convey a lack of trust or belief in their capabilities.

Acknowledge Their Endeavors, Not Just the Result

In a similar vein, Tomlinson mentioned that certain compliments, despite their good intentions, may impact kids differently. Tomlinson illustrated that phrases like “Good girl” or “Good boy,” like saying, “Fantastic job, you won that competition!” might inadvertently suggest that perfection is a prerequisite for love.

Instead, we can highlight their hard work. Tomlinson used the competition scenario to illustrate that a more suitable response would be, “I’m incredibly proud of the effort you put into training for that event!” By doing this, we emphasize the value of a child’s diligence over the outcome of winning.

Engage in Conversations About Their Emotions

An excellent approach when discussing their accomplishments is to inquire about their feelings. For instance, “You emerged victorious in the competition! How do you feel?” This gives the child the opportunity to find worth in their achievements from within rather than seeking external validation. By encouraging self-reflection, they can cultivate a sense of personal pride in their accomplishments instead of relying on the approval of others.

Reiterate that Your Love is Unconditional

Tomlinson emphasized the importance of having positive conversations with our children about what it means to succeed. We can convey to them that it’s acceptable to stumble at times and not expect perfection. Additionally, it’s essential for parents to reassure their children that they are accepted as they are, and their love is not contingent on achievements.

How Parents Can Demonstrate Healthy Self-Esteem

Similar to many aspects of life, children learn about self-worth by observing their parents. This underscores our significant responsibility in monitoring how we perceive ourselves and others, as our children may internalize our attitudes and words.

According to Tomlinson, a crucial aspect of this is addressing our own negative self-talk. Reflect on all the times you heard, “You resemble your mother so much,” only to hear her criticize herself later. Unintentionally, she might have passed on some of that negative self-image through a casual unchecked remark.

Tomlinson stressed that we should also be cautious about the language we use when discussing individuals we encounter. For instance, it’s vital to remember that seemingly innocuous comments like “He has gained weight,” when referring to the neighbor, can be absorbed by our little ones without us realizing. With a bit of conscious effort, we can take pride in how we model and promote self-worth in our children.

Continue Reading
You may also like...

More in Parenting

To Top